Where's My Jacket?
by rainbowsindecember
Summary: Just what the title implies. The Shohoku boys are definitely not happy.


"**W****HEEEEREE'S MYYY JAAACKET?!"**

The long, drawn-out wail came from the locker room. Shohoku High's basketball team glanced at each other, puzzled. An enraged Sakuragi Hanamichi stormed out soon after, his face as flaming as his red hair. He pointed an accusing finger at a sleepy-looking person. "You! It's you, isn't it, you bloody fox? _You_ stole my jacket!"

Rukawa Kaede yawned as he lazily bounced the basketball he was holding. "What jacket?"

"My favourite one, you zombie twit! The Shohoku one; red and black and white! The one we all got as part of the basketball team, remember?!" Sakuragi roared as he stomped towards Rukawa and grasped him by his round collar.

"Let go of me. **Now.**" Rukawa's tone boded no discussion but Sakuragi clung on fiercely, unwilling to back down as he snarled, "You took it; admit it!"

"What in blazing hell would I want with your stupid jacket?" Rukawa sneered, his eyes now dangerous slits. Maybe he should punch the idiot redhead. It would save them all a whole lot of trouble.

"How should I know? Maybe you're still jealous I got number 10 instead of you, eh? You can't stomach the idea of this _tensai_ having a superior number! Nyahaha!"

"_Do'ahou_. I like my number _just fine_. In fact, it's _better_ than yours. Yours has a zero. Yours has _do'ahou-_ness. It might be contagious."

"WHHAAAAATTTTT!!"

"Hey, hey, guys! Calm down!" Kogure Kiminobu cut in, waving frantically for their attention. This was not good. NOT GOOD. What would Akagi think if he came to find Sakuragi and Rukawa at each other's throats? It spoke mountainous volumes of Kogure's non-existent leadership. Thank god the captain opted for revision classes today.

"B-but Megane-kun … Kitsune started it. You know what, I don't care. I just want my jacket back," Sakuragi pouted, very much put out. He did love his sports jacket. It made him look dashing, debonair and such a _basketoman_. Or so he thought.

Kogure massaged his throbbing temples. "Be reasonable, Sakuragi. Rukawa has no need for your jacket. He has his already, right?"

Mitsui Hisashi laughed. "Maybe Rukawa's so cold that he needed an extra one!"

Rukawa rolled his eyes at the feeble joke. "Funny, senpai. I'm freezing so badly, I can't even laugh. Remind me later."

It was Miyagi Ryota's turn to choke back a giggle now. Mitsui glared at the smaller boy before turning his attention back to the two scowling freshmen.

"This is stupid. It's just a bleeding jacket, Sakuragi. Knowing you, you probably misplaced it somewhere."

"But Micchy! It's _my_ jacket and I want it," Sakuragi howled; then as an afterthought, he added, "And it does NOT have blood on it."

Just '**SHOHOKU**' stitched across the back in white block letters and a bold '**10**' underneath. Sakuragi sighed. He missed it already.

"It's only an expression, Sakuragi – it doesn't really mean your jacket is bleeding … or has blood for that matter. We'll look for it after practice, okay?" Miyagi attempted to end the argument once and for all, backed by a fervently nodding Kogure.

Sakuragi grumbled, but he began to do his warm-up stretches. "Okay, okay."

* * *

"**WHE****RE'S MY JACKET?!"**

This time, it was a furious Miyagi who emerged from the locker room. He planted hands on his hips, staring straight at a confused Mitsui. "What did I do?" the blue-haired boy asked.

Miyagi glowered. "You know what. Give it back."

"Oh, for … Why would I take your jacket, Miyagi?"

"Maybe it's payback for laughing at you the other day. Or maybe it's payback for when Ryochin knocked you senseless. And knocked your teeth out. And now you need dentures," Sakuragi piped in, his face moody. He still hadn't found his jacket after two days of searching for it.

And he still rather suspected Rukawa filched it. It was always the zombie kitsune's fault, one way or another – he was sure of it.

Mitsui glared daggers at Sakuragi's red head. "That was the past. Anyway, it wouldn't fit me. Little man here is too short."

A low growl sounded and suddenly, Mitsui was rolling on the floor with vicious kicks and hard punches thrown at his face.

Akagi Takenori grabbed both the fighting duo and held them apart by the scruff of their necks. "You two! I thought you promised not to fight each other anymore! You're worse than Sakuragi and Rukawa!"

Who both blinked upon hearing themselves being referenced. Then shrugged and prepared to enjoy the show. It really was quite entertaining when it wasn't them getting the signature Gori beating.

"Now, what's this all about?!" Akagi bellowed as he set Miyagi and Mitsui down roughly.

"Well, you see…"

"Captain, it's his fault…"

The two boys glared at each other as they both began to speak simultaneously. Then their eyes fell on a chortling Sakuragi and an indifferent Rukawa, and they pointed at their audience.

"They started it," the both of them said together.

Akagi sighed. Why, oh WHY, did his kick-ass team also have to be such jackasses?

"Somebody please explain this to me," the basketball captain said wearily.

"Well, you see, Sakuragi lost his jacket a couple of days ago and blamed Rukawa. Now Miyagi's is missing and he thinks Mitsui took it."

"Which I did not," Mitsui chimed in, cutting into Kogure's explanation. "Because you see, Miyagi's jacket would be way too small for me."

Miyagi's eye twitched. "Watch your mouth, Mitsui. At least I wasn't confused over my gender."

"What retarded rubbish is spewing from your mouth, shorty? As far as I recall, there has never been a moment I have ever doubted my manliness," Mitsui preened, flexing his admittedly impressive muscles.

"You kept long hair like a girl's, you half-woman faggot," Miyagi smirked. "And you _cried_ – just like a girl."

Sakuragi rolled around with raucous laughter as Mitsui lunged towards Miyagi. "Take it back! You have an _earring_, for fuck's sake!"

"All this, over a jacket? Idiots!" Akagi muttered as he dealt head-bashing punches to Mitsui and Miyagi.

"50 laps, you two! NOW!"

* * *

"**WHERE THE FUCK IS MY JACKET?!"**

By now, the news had spread over school that the basketball team members were having wardrobe issues. The girls had giggled at the stories while the guys began to place bets on whose jacket would disappear next.

Those who had staked their money on Mitsui would be overjoyed to hear that his precious number '14' had now joined the list.

Sakuragi glanced at Mitsui's irate face and grinned wickedly. "I thought you said it was just a bleeding jacket, Micchy. Why do you care?"

Something akin to a cross between a choke and a growl sounded from Mitsui's throat. Suspiciously, it sounded like a string of expletives was contained inside as well.

"You shithead. My jacket's _important_."

"Oh, like mine isn't?" Miyagi snorted, his earring glinting in the light. Sakuragi nodded in acquiescence, his face mournful as he recalled his own beautiful jacket.

"Mine's definitely more important! Anzai-sensei handed it to me himself when I came back to the basketball team! It means more to me than yours ever will!" Mitsui shouted; his hands balled into fists.

"Well, mine has my favourite number on it – '7'! Do you know how many of the world's top players use that sacred digit?"

Mitsui scowled. "Yeah? Name me a couple, then."

"Erm … David Beckham, Christiano Ronaldo…"

"They're soccer players, dumb fuck." Mitsui was definitely not someone who saw the point of holding their tongue.

"Aww, shut up, Mitsui. You're just jealous I have a magical number and you don't."

_Magical?_

Sakuragi blinked.

Mitsui lifted an eyebrow.

Rukawa grunted. "Idiots. All of you."

"WWWWWHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!"

Kogure gulped as he watched Mitsui, Miyagi and Sakuragi spontaneously combust. Oh, this would _not_ end well…

He shot a sidelong glance at Akagi. The captain's face was resigned as he returned Kogure's gaze. "Let them be. It's not worth dirtying my hands over their stupid jackets."

* * *

"**WHERE'S. MY. JACKET."**

Currently, the school's population of girls (and a few guys) were sighing as Rukawa tramped out of the locker room for basketball practice. His cerulean irises were flashing and his dark fringe was fluttering oh-so-sexily against his high, high cheekbones.

They shivered, hugging themselves tight. What they wouldn't give to own Rukawa Kaede's jacket with its number '11'.

Although bad boy Mitsui Hisashi's jacket wouldn't be a bad prize either. Miyagi Ryota, the cute muffin-top, would also have a pretty snug-fitting jacket. Even Sakuragi Hanamichi had a certain boyish charm about him. Not to mention, his jacket matched his unusual red hair.

Those three boys were now grinning at Rukawa's annoyed face.

"How does it feel to be one of us now, kitsune?" Sakuragi crowed with delight.

Rukawa's gaze turned deadly. "You took it, didn't you, do'ahou?"

Sakuragi chuckled evilly. "So what if I did? What goes around comes around. Give me mine back."

"I didn't take it, you effing idiot. I wouldn't even dream of touching it. It's covered with your idiocy."

Sakuragi promptly popped a blood vessel. "Why, you–"

Akagi and Kogure groaned. This looked like another practice session down the drain.

"Okay, guys, this is serious," Mitsui spoke up suddenly. "All our jackets are missing–"

"Not ours," Akagi cut in, indicating himself and Kogure.

"Not yet," Miyagi stated ominously.

The solemn moment was broken by Sakuragi's cackling.

"Maybe yours hasn't been stolen because it smells as bad as a gorilla," the redhead hooted.

Miyagi and Mitsui stifled sniggers in their shirts. Even Rukawa's lips twitched a little.

"Okay, some of your jackets have been lost," Kogure interjected hastily, seeing that Akagi was beginning to turn an alarming shade of tanned lobster.

"Yeah, man. I feel weird without it. I usually wear mine to weekend practice."

"Or when it's cold. Autumn's coming already, and then it'll be winter."

"I look real macho in it. What if Haruko thinks less of me now?"

"I know, I know. Aya-chan's always liked mine, too."

"I feel you guys. Girls always told me they thought I looked damned sexy in it."

The rest of the team sweat-dropped at Mitsui's musings.

Sakuragi sniffed. "I just miss my jacket."

Rukawa huffed, blowing at his fringe. "That makes two of us."

"First time the both of you are on the same page, huh? Funny, I feel the same way," Miyagi remarked, his face wistful.

Mitsui heaved a sigh. "Well, I guess you never know what you've got 'til it's gone."

Akagi cleared his throat, feeling more than a little awkward at the display of emotion from his team. "We'll order more in. In the meantime, make sure to lock your things properly."

Four pairs of disconsolate eyes turned towards the towering captain.

"It's still not the same," they sighed mournfully, then broke into despondent moans.

"Where's my jacket…?"

* * *

"You started this, you know."

Akagi Haruko had a guilty look on her face as Ayako swung her feet, watching the depressed boys on court.

"W-What are you talking about?"

Ayako smirked at her. "Didn't you "borrow" Hanamichi's jacket last week? Remember, it was raining and you didn't have an umbrella, so you took his sports jacket from the locker…"

Haruko flamed. "I had to wash it first, and iron it and…"

"Tsk, tsk. Excuses, Haruko-chan, excuses."

"Well, what's yours? I saw your duffel bag – with Miyagi-san's jacket inside."

This time, it was Ayako's turn to blush. "I-I just wanted to see if it would fit me, but then Ryota-kun dashed back into the locker room and I had to quickly stuff it into my bag. Can you imagine what he would say if he saw me try on _his_ jacket?"

"Yeah, sure. That's why you haven't given it back to him, either."

"Okay, _fine_. The stupid thing's ridiculously comfortable. As I'm sure you know, since you haven't said a word to Hanamichi about having his jacket." At Haruko's slight nod, Ayako continued, "Plus his smell is everywhere. It almost feels like his arms are wrapped around you when you wear that thing…"

Both the girls sighed a little.

Ayako blinked at Haruko's silly grin. "Eh, I thought you were crushing on Rukawa. I'm surprised you didn't take his jacket instead. And why are you smiling like that? Aren't you and Hanamichi just friends?"

Haruko blinked. "It didn't occur to me to take Rukawa-kun's; I barely know him. Pity. Still, Sakuragi-kun's jacket is very nice…"

Ayako hid a delighted beam. Maybe the girl wasn't as naïve as she looked after all.

Her smile soon turned into a slight frown. "I do wonder where the rest of the jackets went to, though…"

* * *

"Don't you ever wonder where Hanamichi and Miyagi's jackets disappeared to?"

"Sometimes, I guess. But thanks to them…"

"I know – this is pure _genius_. Why didn't we think of this before?"

"Yeah, with all the money we made off the betting…"

"And now, the sale of jackets to the highest bidder. Who knew the basketball team could bring in such big bucks?"

"Well, it's Mitsui and Rukawa, after all. The former and the soon-to-be MVP."

"Girls go nuts for those types, huh? Mitsui's jacket went to that classmate of his. I never knew she was such a fan."

"Kawai Mari bid a huge amount for Rukawa's. Pity she lost."

"Not a pity for us. Look at all this money!"

The Sakuragi Gundan rifled through their stacks of yen again.

"I wonder who was that girl – the one who won Rukawa's jacket? Never seen her around here before."

"She looked rather familiar…"

"You know what, I really don't care. Let's go spend our cash!"

* * *

"Hiro-kun! Look, look, **LOOK**!"

Koshino Hiroaki gaped at the fabric being waved in his face.

"Please don't tell me that is what I think it is."

Sendoh Akira smiled brightly at his best friend. "Yes, it is. Aren't you happy? _I'm_ happy. So very happy!"

Koshino groaned. "Akira, you can't just _steal_ things like that. And what do you want it for, anyway? You've got your own! In nicer colours, too!"

"I didn't steal it, dummy. I _bought_ it," Sendoh announced triumphantly.

"How in the hell did you manage to do that?!"

Sendoh flashed a guilty grin.

"I sent Hikoichi to Shohoku–"

"Oh, god."

"–in a wig and a skirt."

"OH, GOD. You bastard; you took advantage of Hikoichi! I can't believe he even agreed!"

Sendoh scratched his head. "Well…"

"Why do I get that slightly nervous feeling when you say that?"

"Well, I don't have my own jacket anymore–"

"WHAT?!"

"I sort of promised mine to Hikoichi for his sister's birthday … In return for Rukawa Kaede's jacket."

Koshino gawked at Sendoh, his eyes bulging.

"You know, if I didn't know you better, I'd say you were gay, Aki."

Sendoh looked horror-struck. "Perish the thought. I enjoy my women, thank you very much."

"Yes, the last few have been annoying as buggery hell. Next time, if you want to dazzle them with your legendary charm, forget to mention I'm your best friend. Because if one more threatens to commit suicide if I don't get you to go see her, I'll kill you myself."

Sendoh paid no heed, humming merrily as he smoothed out the red-black-white cloth.

Koshino squinted at Sendoh. "Why in bloody hell do you even want Rukawa's jacket?"

"Because." It was articulated in a sing-song tone that made Koshino grit his teeth with annoyance.

"Because what?"

"I'm collecting," Sendoh beamed as he folded up the jacket.

Koshino blinked in confusion. "Huh?"

"You see, it's like fishing. You land a big fish; you want to mount it on a wall. That's what I'm doing. I'm gathering the basketball aces' jackets, and pretty boy Rukawa is the first in my collection."

Koshino stared at his best friend. "Did anyone ever tell you that you're mad, Akira?"

"Oh, just a couple. Namely you," Sendoh shrugged off the question, turning his attention back to the jacket – the red, black and white material with '**SHOHOKU**' stitched across the back in white block letters and a bold '**11**' underneath. He tapped his chin thoughtfully.

"I wonder how much Kainan and Shoyo jackets cost…"

END

* * *

AN: Argh. I know this is retarded, but the dummy idea got stuck in my head and refused to go away. It barely makes sense as it is, but I needed to finish writing it so that I could concentrate on my assignments. So, criticism will be more than welcomed, as this was quite a rush job:)


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